Why do I choose dance?

This is a question I found asking myself almost everyday when I decided to take a break from my career as an Architect. It was a well paying job and I had a comfortable life with a good fixed income coming in every month. 

Does it make sense to leave it all? I would often wonder… Until I realised, it was totally worth it. I wanted to dance because I could not stand the thought of not dancing. Because I could not imagine myself being so happy and content doing anything else all day long.

Although, I was working a lot harder and getting paid a lot less.

So why did I start dancing  in the first place?

I remember seeing some performances in my school, and hearing about how my Guru and her troupe traveled all around the world for performances. I guess I was tempted and wanted to try, as a 10-11 year old, in complete awe of the sheer presence and appearance of my Guru.

I was an inquisitive child. I had already tried gymnastics, rope mallakhamb and was playing table tennis at that point and I was also into competitive group singing, thanks to my school which offered such a diverse pool of  extracurricular activities for the underprivileged sector. Had it not been made so inexpensive by the organisation, I would have probably never been able to do any of these things that probably cost a lot more outside.

So with dreamy eyes I started my dance classes. Soon enough I realised it was not an easy thing, it was the most difficult thing and yet I didn't want to stop it. It was hard to go to class and keep doing the basics that we were taught. I remember my thighs and my legs hurting and my Guru shouting at me to squat even more in my chowka (similar to aramandi in bharatanatyam). I remember being in tears at times. Of course, I have a lot more fond memories. Being selected to be a part of the performance itself was a big thing. Traveling to many places with the whole gang, with friends, dancing on stage with makeup and costume was exhilarating . Dance brought me a lot of happiness. I had a role model -my Guru . I wanted to be like her. Look like her, dance like her, talk and even walk like her. She looked beautiful ,she was always well dressed, she spoke so well too. I liked being in her presence. I liked it when she noticed me, when I was told that I am a good dancer, when I was asked to be a part of a performance. 

Much sooner after I started learning, all my friends who started the class with me left one by one. I was alone, but somehow it didn't matter. I continued. I made many more friends in years to come. Some became my best friends for life. 

Before I knew it, I was put on stage by my Guru. Initially I was a branch of a tree or a bird or a deer running around, dancing in big group productions. It was fun no matter what. Everybody used to dream about being the lead character someday but no one questioned the Guru. We did whatever we were selected for and enjoyed it.

After many years and many small roles, I did get to play the lead roles. In the beginning, I Was still not the first choice of my teacher, and she didn't hide it from me either. It's not that it didn't hurt to know this but it was exciting even to be the second or third choice to be able to get the center stage. 

I have performed extensively, enjoyed the makeup, costume, lights, applaud, travelled a lot and learnt a lot too. I think it was this growth in dance class that taught me how to deal with rejections, tough situations in life, hard work, teamwork and most importantly to be hopeful…

Now, 30 years later from when I first started to learn Odissi, my reasons to love and continue to practice this dance form have changed. Although the thing I enjoy the most is sharing my love for Odissi.

There’s more and that's a story for another time.