Why do I go to Therapy?

"Why now?" my husband asked me when I told him I have an online appointment with my therapist. I have been in therapy for the last 2.5 yrs very regularly. This is the time I was going through a rough time health wise.(I shall share about it in another post) So, Now that I was a lot better and yet made an appointment with my therapist - he posed the question. At first, I got defensive, I felt threatened but within 20 seconds, I was able to calm down and respond.(thanks to all the hours in therapy and a lot of other personal and healing work.)  I didn't know how to explain it properly yet, so I asked him to give me some time to come up with an explanation. After some introspection, I realised why I choose to have regular appointments with a therapist.

Here, I share it with whoever would like to know. :)

A therapist offers me a safe, non judgmental and confidential space to express myself. In this space, I am not scared of being myself, showing my flaws, fears, imperfections and even my strengths. For me, my therapist is like a mirror and I am able to look at myself objectively, maintaining a little distance. In fact I go to her from time to time to look at myself clearly and identify my shortcomings, negative emotions, patterns, conditioning and discover anything else that is holding me back from achieving  my goals, dreams and greatness. I go to her to solve my problems which no one around me understands or even if they do, they are not equipped to help me like she does. Them trying to help, often results in me feeling hurt, humiliated, judged and sometimes even frustrated which completely defeats the whole purpose. 

Therapy offers me a different perspective in a way that makes my life less complicated. It allows me to take as much time as I need to look at myself, feel all the emotions like - shame, guilt, sadness, grief, fear, anger etc. , express them, process them one at a time, slowly and gently , enquiring compassionately. We work on an urgency or priority basis, on whatever feels most alive and throbbing in that moment. Therapy offers me time, space and expertise to witness all that emerges, process, understand and accept it. In every session I discover, uncover and learn something new or sometimes I get a reminder of the forgotten. 

All this work enables me to choose to respond instead of react and be kind to myself and others. It enables healing of all the emotional wounds, hurts and traumas. Every session, I keep unravelling, processing, healing and growing… one small step at a time.

I feel like a different person now- I feel heard, seen, taken care of and loved. I feel lighter, freer and open to all the new possibilities. I feel calmer, more loving, accepting and and content. In turn, I receive more of all that I feel and share. Perhaps this is the essence of  "Law of attraction."

Sure it takes a lot of time but in the end, it's worth it!